The Bridging Cross

When I recently changed my hand phone, I lost most of the journals I wrote during my trying period. But this morning I wrote this before service.

Five years ago, whenever I went for walks, I would ask God, where and what do you want me to do today. And he would tell me where to go and He would speak to me through that place. He taught me…that I had to be quiet to hear Him. And during my brokenness, He would always show me the cross — the vertical cross — reminding me of my vertical relationship with God. And the good thing that came out of my brokenness was that I returned to God and I drew closer to Him. He saw me through my difficult and heartbroken period. I cried every single day in my car on the way home and at night. God has many bottles of my tears. And through it all, God was with me. Even though He didn’t take the pain away, he was and is with me through the tumultuous storms in my life.

Many things I could not understand why all these happened to me, but I just had to surrender all to Him, trust Him and accept my destiny (which was very hard for me). Till today, I still ask why…being human.

During my walks in the past, I used to cross bridges and God told me…cross over. The bridge was there, but somehow, I could not cross over at that time because God needed to heal me, restore me and restore my relationship with Him. And I am still a work in progress after so many years. And I still find it hard to trust Him, but I always remind myself what Abraham did when God told him to sacrifice Isaac — he obeyed and trusted God. In a way, I had a similar experience when I had to sacrifice my ‘Isaac’ — my marriage. I struggled to obey Him and kept bargaining with Him and praying He would help save my marriage…but in the end I lost and had to surrender and give it all back to Him. I had to give up everything that was dear to me…even the desires of my heart. I had to learn to trust Him to help me through this sad and broken journey. Many years have passed, and there are times I still feel sad but I just try to carry on and rely on His strength to help me through each day.

Till today, I still remember that bridge — the horizontal bridge on the cross.

I went through the vertical bridge of the cross to return to God, now I pray for the horizontal bridge of the cross to connect and restore my relationship with the one I love. The horizontal bridge of the cross that leads to healing and restoration.

A friend prayed this prayer for me, when my husband and I were separated. I still have it till today and still pray and hope for the healing power of God to unite us, heal us, transform us and restore our relationship.

Here is the prayer my friend sent to me then:

Father, Pray that You have your grace and healing hand on my friend and to teach the couple to listen to each other through your Bridging Cross and let them learn a lot more on what you want them to learn and get to mend their past wounds. May You build their relationship again and start well their inner journey of supporting each other because they are both your loving children. May you have your merciful hand to intervene in their present situation and to stop all the stress and hurdles between the couple so that they can come to pray in One Voice and One Love under You. In Your name we pray, AMEN.

God is faithful. No matter what you are facing, He will carry you through.